He feels our pain

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Hey. I’m J and this is my stupid blog about stupid ebayers and their stupid auctions and their stupid emails to me.

Long before TameBay, I used to wonder if there was mileage in a blog about the crazy stuff you hear as an eBayer: bizarre demands from buyers, even more bizarre terms and conditions from sellers, the downright weird products when you multiply anonymity by money. I once created a page to demonstrate to my brother why I stopped selling over the Atlantic, but, not wanting to be mean to my lovely buyers, I never took the idea any further.

J. has. There’s plenty in his blog that long-term sellers will recognise, and he’s raised frustration to an art form. The newest post, about stupid comments left in PayPal notes, rang a great big bell with me: it does make me laugh when people write like I’m going to hand-deliver their package.

10 Responses

  1. OMG I have to say I enjoyed Sue’s comments more, they are incredible, it’s a wonder that those people with such limited intellect could even work out how to actually register on ebay and then “send a message to seller”.

    I suppose you just have to laugh and count the cash, just like I used to do in my Coffee Shop, when people would come to the counter and complain about the toilet being locked when they wanted to use it, and me resisting the temptation to tell them to take their complaint to the person who was actually having a piss or a **** in the toilet at the time!

    Or people being offended when I asked them politely if they would like another drink, one hour after their empty cup had been removed, which they had spent the previous hour cuddling while they drank it, I think they thought that £1.80 was effectively one days rent for ONE person on a table designed for EIGHT!

    Or the one where someone complained because she didn’t like her sandwich after she had eaten 7/8ths of it and demanding a refund, hah!

    Or people just wondering off the street and collecting sugars off the dispenser and putting them into their bags/pockets and being surprised when I challenged them.

    Or the people who would calmly open the contents of a lunch box or food from another cafe/takeaway and start eating it in plain site of me, without actually attempting to buy anything from me. I think those people mistook our shop for a bloody roadside lay-by (they didn’t get politeness)

    I could go on, but this is getting rather “off” ebay now.

  2. Well there was the lady who only EVER came in to the shop to complain if we had been shut the previous day (as it was very very hard work, I would often persuade my Wife to close the shop for the day so that we could enjoy a nice relaxing day in The Cotswolds or by the seaside etc etc) I wouldn’t have minded but in the two years that we owned the coffee shop, she never purchased a thing, but felt it was her duty and right to barrack me and tell me how much business I lost the previous day for not being open!

  3. Brilliant, Jade!

    Many years ago, we used to run a CB shop. Now, your average CB’er isn’t always blessed with a full complement of brain cells.

    There was the one that removed the cigarette lighter plug, replaced it with a 3-pin mains plug, plugged it into his domestic socket, and then brought the unit back as faulty because “there was a funny smell and smoke came out of it”

    Then the was the woman across the road who asked how to get a “clean signal”. It had been quite a day, and I told her to use a brillo pad to clean her wall-mounted aerial. I thought she’d taken it as a joke until the next day when I saw her hanging out of the upstairs bedroom window, brillo pad in hand……

  4. Oh and the lady who thought it perfectly reasonable to sit and read our papers without buying anything and being absolutely jaw droppingly offended when I told her that I didn’t think it was fair to do so without buying something.

    On a similar vein, being told by one of the three student girls that it was unreasonable of me to expect more than half of their “gang” of 12 to make purchase so that I would at least get some return from the 12 seats that were taking up. As I remember she told me that being able to sit down and chat to your mates, was the WHOLE point of a Coffee Shop. Silly me I thought the point was to be paid for providing a service by buying a coffee or a cake or a bottle of bloody water! Add to the fact that these were Bristol University students which is supposedly one of the top Uni’s in the country I often found myself wondering how many future Dr’s, scientists and politicians had passed through our doors without knowing the 1st thing about commerce! This particular scene was very common occurrence in the cafe.

    And don’t get me started on “tap water” drinkers grrrRRRrrrrrrRRgggGGGg aaargggh the rage is coming back!

    CHILL CHIll CHill Chill chill chill…..

    aaah thats better 🙂

  5. Just had a phone call from a delightful woman….

    Her: You’ve sent me this thing that I didn’t order and don’t want. How did you get my name and address.

    Me: Hang on, I’ll check…. Are you xyz and is your address…..

    Her: Yes, how did you know?

    Me: It’s here on the order on eBay [starts to get scared of what’s gone wrong]

    Me: Oh hang on, it was ordered by abc at hotmail – do you know abc?

    Her: Oh yes, that’s my daughter, she did tell me to expect some things in the post…. 😀

  6. Yeah well, try doing craft fairs and after the upteenth person has asked if the £1.50 earrings are “real gold” you feel like saying “What do you think at that price?”. And I have a notice on the stall saying that I could charge earwires to clips – several people (all male) said they thought it said “earwigs” hmmm. And lots of people said “You don’t do clips, do you?” So one day I put the notice upside down to make people see it and got more than one person who said “your notice is upside down – you don’t do clips, do you?”

    And then we wonder why people hate dealing with “The public”.

  7. Hey Sue. Thanks for the kind words and the added traffic. Believe me, “ebaymorons” is just getting started. I have THOUSANDS of saved funny emails that have built up over the years. Once I get time after the holidays, things will get rolling again.

    Looks like you’ve got a nice site here. I’ll stick around.

  8. Another one, this time from an ebay.co.uk asking about the combined P&P offer of extra items at £1.50 each in adition to the £6.50 for the 1st item, eeeedddjjjeeet!

    If I buy several of these can I have them posted to different addresses as part of the same order (and under the £1.50 offer) as they will be presents?

    MY response after I had re-written it to be more polite was –

    “Hi, Combined discount means COMBINING the items not sending them to separate address. Many Thanks J Edwards GB Sales”

    Probably if I’d have agreed to do it, I’d be bloody gift wrapping them and putting a card in for her too!


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