Something about eBay brings out the silly questions in people. I don’t know if it’s eBay themselves encouraging buyers, as they used to do, to ask a question, any question, just to prove the seller is actually responsive – or if there’s something more fundamental… or just mental going on.
But I do know that most sellers I talk to have a store of these stories. My own favourite remains the classic:
What colour are these black jeans?
(I know what they meant, because black jeans come in many shades. It’s still a daft question.)
What’s your silliest ASQ ever?
(PS: We had a lot of responses to the last open thread we did. We could do one of these every Saturday if you like. What do you reckon?)
photo credit: Magic Madzik
38 Responses
Will this fit me?
Not a true question, but an amalgamation.
Question:- If I ask you if it can be sent ASAP in order to arrive tomorrow, for my Childs birthday, which somehow I forgot, and if I don’t pay until after the post office has closed and pay by Paypal pending can you guarantee it will arrive on time?
Answer: BBL and Goodnight
Does the dog die in this film ?
Item purchased Christmas Eve at 9-30pm, question 27th Dec … Where’s my item? I’m disappointed it’s not here by now, when will I get it?
That was even better than the 4mm black Onyx beads, ASQ How big are these?
Feedback is also a pain, 4mm beads ‘smaller than I expected’ not sure how small they want 4mm beads but they only come in 4mm size. Hence good idea to put a coin in the picture to show size. 😉
Thank you for your payment for the XXXYY Laptop Computer and paying by Paypal.
If you didn’t authorise this payment please click this Link
I just love the “Will this work with my laptop?” without them telling me what model or even brand laptop they have 😀
Oh, another one just in:
“I ordered the wrong thing, can I exchange it for the correct one?”
That would be fine except they ordered the low cost version and of course the one they want to exchange it for is more expensive.
Is this vinyl record a record or a Cd?
Give me strength!
“Does the grey goose fly at midnight?”
Some people take buying hidden cameras way too seriously!!
Description: Item is brand new, but not sealed.
Qustion: What does brand new, but not sealed mean?
Desciption: Item is UNTESTED.
Question: What does UNTESTED mean? Can you guarantee it works properly?
Answers: I have had enough of silly questions, I have now turned off ASQ.
My friend bought one of your Cds and I would like to buy the same one, do have anymore?
Comment – If I was this good at guessing I would be picking lottery tickets!
I used to sell invisi dots for sticking vellum and had a couple of people sending ASQs and demanding to know where their dots were … One even sent them back, complete with sticky fingerprints all over the (admittedly hard to see, which was the whole point of them) dots!
I also used to get people who would buy a sheet of decoupage, then ASQ asking what to do with it – it always seemed rather strange to me to buy something if you don’t know what it is! I did btw have a custom page in my ebay shop all about decoupage containing that information.
Well we probably have to many to list here but here is a couple of my favorites:
Item: Stainless Steel Sphere Pond Floaters
Email: “I bought theses spheres and they are to ROUND and to lightweight”
“I ordered my item last night what time will it arrive today…” (customer from the US)
Stu
Most of the time people can’t commumicate what they want to say. Its our education system thats at fault. My biggest worry is not the questions people ask but the fact they can’t spell or don’t know their own address. They seem to educate people to be unemployable. Lucky eBay is international.
“Will this hat fit my 10 yr old son?”
and
“Do these tights go all the way up?”
and
“are there any fingers in these fingerless gloves?”
and
“I have a question about your 22″ square scarf, is it longer on one side than on the other?”
*shakes head*
From listing: “These Measure 61mm with a 40mm handle”
Question: What size are these in centimetres.
Are these UV protected as I don’t want my son burned on holiday.
I was selling car brakes and had nothing else listed for weeks.
I don´t know if it was a question or what to answer to that:
I just received my top, which is very nice, but when I opened the envelope, it was completely filled with ants. It was compleyely sealed and was placed in my dad’s hand as soon as it arrived. I tried to get as many as I could outside when I saw them, but now I have ant all over my house. There were a LOT of them.
… or was it just a joke?
Rubber bands…
Will these fit around my wrist?
(why wud u want to do that?)
Can I thrus a turkey with these?
(why wud u use them for that – hygene?)
wud this fit my dvd player so I can repair it?
(take it to a repair shop u numpty)
Can u strech it i want to know when it snaps?
(not on ur nelly)
what size are these?
(size 89 – 12mm in description)
duh
Push Numpty button for all the above and add to numpty list
Q: Where is my item?
A: Tracking shows you signed for it last week.
Q: Why did you charge me sales tax on shipping?
A: State law requires it.
I also had someone ask me about a product I had sold them a few weeks earlier. The question itself wasn’t unreasonable at all but they mentioned their name thinking it would identify them and their purchase. Unfortunately I had sold to three people with exactly the same name in the past month so I had no way of knowing how to answer them without requiring the actual listing number.
These are direct quotes, some date back as far as 2008:
“You said in your description this coat is pinned at the back on the mannequin to make it fit. Doesnt that mean there will be holes in it to let the rain in?”
“I read the measurements in your listing but can you confirm the bust and waist measurement once more please”
“please please please have you got these sequin hot pants in a 10-12
im a desperate tranny and ive been searching hi and lo for some
paula xxx”
Question received 21/8/10.
I have not received this item.
After much searching of records I found that it had been posted on 16/12/09.
For a live BIN listing.
“Is this item still for sale?”
Last week…
What does it mean “Boxed with no Branding”?
I nearly replied, “It means Boxed with no Branding”
Does this ribbon match West Ham colours?
If someone ever publishes a book of these, Steve’s
“Does The Dog Die In This Film?”
has to be the title. Priceless.
Keep them coming, best Monday morning I’ve had for weeks reading these.
Q: I need to replace my husbands clippers and also need to use them on my
Shih Tzu dog, will these do both or do I need animal clippers as
well.
A good take on the ‘will this fit’ question….
“my boyfriend looks a lot like Elijah Wood, do you think this leather jacket will fit him?”
Q.’Can I pay for this and pick up the item to save on shipping?’
A. Yes, here is our address.
**Buyer pays for item with no shipping cost..Two days later**
Q. I went to the post office and it was not there for me to pick up.
A. No it wouldn’t be. You wanted to collect the item.
1: Will I like the smell?
A: As this listing is for a bath mat I have no idea
2: (NOT sent from an item page so no product identifier just a general ASQ)
Do you have more of these? In a different colour?
A: probably check my shop
3: You appear to have sent me a pair of red reading glasses
a: That would be because you bought and paid for some red glasses?
4: How does my Microwave know I have put a hot water bottle in it and not food?
a: BBL
5: Would this be suitable for my mother?
a from me: I don’t know you have sent a general query not from the item page. which product is it and what might your mum want it for?
Answer from buyer: The one I’m looking at now!
BBL
And many, many, more including questions about size from EVERY listing that has measurements in!
Item: Sewing Pattern for £1.99
Question: Am I buying a picture or a custom made dress?
Answer: Neither, please read the listing.
All these just re-affirm my idea, that ebay should give sellers a ‘buyer performance score chart’